My New Normal

Life has changed for me... in a really great way

Photo by bhuvanesh gupta on Unsplash

It happened.

I still kinda can’t believe it.

My life turned into a romance book.

Here’s the scenario:

40-year-old woman—our Author—who is unlucky in love decides to get off her ass and try to forge her own path in life.

Who needs a partner, right? Partners only get in the way.

So Author wears what she wants. Wears makeup when she just goes to the shops because she wants to. Attends events alone because her friends all have families or careers. Travels the world. Decides to write a book.

And then one of her brother’s best friends moves into the area for work.

They knew each other in college. Best Friend and Brother were seniors when Woman was a freshman. Author and Brother hung out a lot because home was very far away for both of them, so Author and Best Friend also did stuff together by default.

Apparently (according to Best Friend in a recent conversation), Author didn’t like Best Friend very much.

Author can kind of concur, though she also can admit she was kind of a bitch in college and didn’t really develop her personality until much later. She was still trying to make her way in life.

Anyway, Author goes to visit Best Friend at his welcoming party and leaves him a note saying that if he wanted to be shown around the area, she’d be happy to help. She didn’t leave her phone number.

Best Friend reaches out to Brother (they’re still very close friends) and acquires Author’s phone number. Then he texts her and says he’d love to hang out.

November rolls around, and their local tourist town in southwest Michigan is hosting a fun evening event, and Author invites Best Friend to attend with her. For once, she’s not alone at one of these things. They enjoy each other’s company. They go out to eat and talk the whole time. They decide to do this more often.

Best Friend invites Author to his house in December to play board games, which he loves to play. Author agrees, and they eat pizza and play all afternoon until she needs to leave.

She leaves regretfully. She would have liked to enjoy more time. He agrees.

Brother comes for Christmas, and his Best Friend joins Author and Brother a couple of times. Author notices that when Brother and his Best Friend chat, Best Friend acts one way, but when she and him are talking, his demeanor changes. He’s a little more upbeat.

Does his face brighten because of her?

Brother admits to his parents a couple of days later that sometimes he felt like the third wheel in the scenario.

By this point, Author and Best Friend are texting daily. Random texts about random things. Author does her writer retreat in Illinois and they continue to text when she’s not busy working.

This continues into January, where they get together to hang out a few more times. They watch anime together. They gripe about the awful snow that southwest Michigan has gotten. They learn more about each other and their families, even though knew a lot already.

And Author knows that something is happening, because instead of hiding her writing, like she’s done with most of the acquaintances she knows in the area, she tells Best Friend all about it.

And he thinks it’s awesome.

On January 24, as they’re returning from Indiana, Best Friend admit that he’d like to develop a relationship with Author.

Author really can’t believe this is happening to her. This is something that happens to other people, but not possibly to her.

Yet, here it is, happening.

They become an official couple. He takes it slow with her. He’s very respectful. She admits she’s not really sure how relationships work, so they muddle through it together, with her taking the lead.

So Author’s life changes. Best Friend is now Boyfriend. And since they’re both in their forties, this isn’t casual dating. (Neither of them is up for casual.)

Author gives Boyfriend her manuscript, and he admits that he’s not going to be very critical of it. Since it’s her work, he’s going to cheer her on, but he’s privileged that she’s letting him read it.

Author still writes, but the evenings aren’t lonely anymore. Either they’re hanging out together or texting with each other. They talk about fun things they can do in the spring and summer, when the snow in Michigan finally disappears. (…hopefully.)

It will take a little bit to get used to The New Normal of her life, but Author is noticing that life is a little brighter than it used to be. When she has problems with her writing, she can discuss it with Boyfriend, and he talks her through it. He texts her things that he enjoys about her current Work In Progress. She sends him the commissioned art she’s gotten done. And he asks about the independent publishing process.

There’s other stuff, but this is a writing Substack, you know?

What’s next for our Author and her Boyfriend? They’re still talking about it, but Author is going to embrace the time they spend together for as long as she possibly can, through the ups and the downs.

It is one thing to find a Boyfriend. It’s another to find a partner who will support you in your hobbies, root you on from the sidelines, and want to learn more. I sincerely hope that everyone in the writing world is able to find that person, whether it’s a romantic, platonic, or familial partner.

Those are the kinds of people you never let go.